What's in a name.....

           'Gondu'. I think that was the first name by which i called you on the day of your birth. Then started the avalanche of names for the next few days. Every person who met you had one or sometimes a new one every day. 'Sonu', Babdu', Oshimani', 'Chinimanya', 'Shanu-Gunu' were the most used ones. But, your little eyes twinkled whenever i called you 'Oshigompush'. Don't know what it meant, but you loved it. Gradually, Oshigompush gave way to 'Gompuli' and the twinkled eyes were accompanied by a sweet dimpled smile.
             'नावं ठेवणं' comes naturally to many of us, but giving you a name was a very important decision. Your mother and me had started contemplating on that issue, right since the day we came to know about the pregnancy. I was expecting twins and i was going to call them Aabhas and Yatharth. Once the sonography showed a single embryo, i was fixated on 'Yatharth' which meant Truth. I was so persuasive about the name that i called you by that name throughout your stay in the womb. So much so that, there was a whattsapp group called Yatharth which included me, mah-aaji, aajoba, swapna mavshi and priya mavshi. We used to discuss your mother's mood swings at length in that group.
           We had certain ground rules about your name. Since Vengsarkars have 2 daughters starting with 'A' and Kelekars have 3 children starting with 'S', names starting with these 2 letters were completely out of question. Unfortunately, it ruled out your mother's choice of name 'Anvay'. We didn't want a जोडाक्षर in your name, making it tough to pronounce. A name which cannot be shortened was a priority. Mangesh and Madhavi were always mangu/mangya/mungi and madhu, which we didn't want to happen to you. Your mother wanted Ganpati's name since Mangesh means Shiva and her other is Uma which means Parvati. But, most of the good ganpati names started with A or were already taken up by others. After many deliberations, we were not even close to finalising a name for you and the due date was approaching fast. And then one day.....lets talk about it later.
          Selecting a date and venue for your naming ceremony was a task i wasn't really much involved in. It was a Kelekar function (paid by aajoba and mah-aaji) and i had decided to take a backseat. (Taking a backseat is not being aggresive, but giving subtle hints assertively and nonchalantly making people agree to you). All the Kelekars (read-Priya) had heated discussions on date, time, venue, menu, guests and finally they came to a decision.
          Saraswati Mandir hall was the preferred venue and the talk were already at an advanced stage. But, the decided date was 10th February, a Sunday. It was also Vasant panchami and a Shubh divas. On that day, Saraswati Mandir was already booked. After much contemplation, Status Banquet was finalised, although it was a bit overbudget. I taggged along with Aajoba, and Priya Mavshi to Status for finalising things. Aajoba was trying to sweet-talk with the manager in konkani, since he  was a goan.The menu finalising was a very interesting task. After much heated discussion (read-priya), everyone decided to go with the menu i had already tick-marked on the menu card.
          We contacted the decorator recommended by the manager, but it was extremely expensive. Sheetal kaka and others were pitching their ideas. All of a sudden an idea struck me and i convinced others about it. We decided to go with a background of ur clothes, ur 'duptis' and your photos. A rented wooden  पाळणा with flower arrangement on it placed on a red carpet at the centre. And the highlight of it all was a लखोटा made by Sheetal kaka, which will be unrolled to reveal your name.
          The previous day was extremely hectic and everyone was busy getting ready and packing stuff. Sanveda tai was helping me throughout the evening to make the background charts. Sheetal kaka and priya mavshi (read-she is a gem) were getting the लखोटा ready since the morning.
           The big day arrived. We went early to get the venue ready. But, it was not opened. The flowers, the पाळणा, the carpet, the Nerurkars and The Shekhar Kaka was there before us. We waited for around 30 minutes before the venue opened. We were running against time to get the decorations ready. But we managed and the decorations were appreciated by everyone. The guest also appreciated the starters; some overappreciated them. The lunch was also something everyone will remember for a long time.
             But, what i will remember is the moment when you finally had an identity of your own. A month before the delivery, completely out of the blue, i came up with a name for a girl 'Rooh' meaning soul. It was good, but it became even better when we changed the gender of that word.
After all the Oti-bharni, i asked everyone to keep calm. Madhavi aatya said your name in your ears. I stood before the crowd and said my shayri. Sachin kaka and Sheetal kaka slowly unrolled the लखोटा, in which the shayari and your name was written. World, lo and behold, My son has a name.
RUHAAN. Mangesh and Pooja's RUHAAN.
           As you grow up, 'Ruhaan' will become your recognition. You will carry a card or name tag saying "RUHAAN". I hope the whole world knows the name oneday, "RUHAAN MANGESH VENGSARKAR".
          And if somebody asks you, what does Ruhaan mean, just give your distinctive smile and say,

" कुछ दिमाग में रहते हैं,

   कुछ दिल में धसते हैं . 

  जो दिल से करीब हो,

 वो रूह में बसते हैं. 

                               जो जुबां की बात सुनता हैं, 

                    वो इन्सान होता हैं. 

                                      जो रूह के जजबात समझता हैं,

                      वो रुहान होता हैं. "

          
          
          

बाई, वाड्यावर या ......

          As you grow up in life, you will understand that घरातलं बाईमाणुस is never the mother or wife or grandmother. It is a vague term given to all those ladies who work to help the ladies who work. However, weird it many sound, the 'बाई' in Indian households are more revered than parents, family or even GOD. Bhagwan 33 crore mil jaate hain, ek achhi bai nahi milti. A woman most of the times prefer dumping her husband than hurting the sentiments of her बाई.
          Until now, we have been fortunate on that front. With both of us working and all of our parents above 70, we needed that extra set of hands and we were lucky to get some good ones at that, ofcourse with its own ups and downs.
          If you had been born a few years before 2019, you would have been practically raised single handedly by Sarita. She was instrumental in taking care of Aaryaa tai and Aadyaa tai. She stayed with us for more than 10 years and was a part of our family. She was present during your birth and even during your naming ceremony. But, something was off. Maybe her marriageable  age or her ailing father in her village or maybe Aaba's overtly 'sweet' nature or maybe her salary. Something was eating her up and she decided to quit. It came as a shock when she declared her decision and it was difficult to imagine raising you without her at beck and call. But, noone is irreplaceable and soon her void was filled.
         But before talking about who replaced her, there are many others who played their parts in your growth in the first year.
           Reshma mavshi was appointed over the rough-handed laxmi mavshi to give you massage and bath. While the latter's hands were rough, the former's ways were rough. She used to come late at around 12 or 12.30. You cried a lot during the whole process, but after the bath you slept like a baby. ( That phrase can't be used. You were a baby). Aai denied her massage services and was also apprehensive about taking a bath from her. She continued with us till we shifted base to Vagdevi.
            Usha mavshi was Reshma mavshi's replacement at Mahim. Initially, we had a tough time getting anyone, and when she came to meet for the first time, her appearance created doubts in our mind. But, with you, she was a breath of fresh air. Very gentle with her handling, whispering sweet nothings to you, her trademark 'sonu' repeated time and again, I think you enjoyed your time with her. You never cried during the massage or bath. She used to eat our brains with her nonsensical talks, but her work made us bear all that. Surprsingly, you did not accept her a second time round during our ganpati stay at mahim.
            Sharmila and Sunita were Mah-aaji's maids at Mahim. While Sunita was the caring one, Sharmila kept her distance.Sunita also had a grandson who got many of your clothes. Sharmila was all about her work and the breakfast which Mah-aaji served her (even if it kept aajoba hungry sometimes).
             When we returned to Dahisar, the भांडी, झाडू, लादी duties were taken up by Hansa Bai. An old lady with white hair, but meticulous with her work as a replacement bai and casual with the same as a permanent one. Her 'पंखा बंद करू?' was a constant source of irritation for aai and aaba. In due course, she became friends with you and even played with you. You enjoyed sitting in the kitchen watching her wash the utensils.
              But, the most important question about a bai to take your care was answered by Jayashri Mavshi. She was recommended by Sandhya Aatya and had taken Devang's care during his early years. She herself had a small granddaughter at home. She was clean and you gelled with her like a fish in water. She came at 9, left at 6, gave u massage and bath, changed your diapers, fed you, made you sleep, took care of you, washed your clothes, cleaned your bottles. But......she had her flaws. She had her physical limitations. She avoided playing with you and i wonder what she would have done now that you are crawling all over and standing and trying to walk. She had her paper-reading time, had a 2 hour nap time in the afternoon, had 2 spoons of sugar in her tea, needed some food after she gave you bath. We were ok with all of it, as she was great with you. But her holidays were a deal-breaker.  Long holidays for someone's death, someone's heartattack coupled with reluctance to come to work when Aai had a holiday, made Aai think about alternatives. She was costing a bomb too. Her patience with Jayashree mavshi finally ended after she failed to come to work giving some petty reason after a rainy day. She was fired with immediate effect.
             The search started again. I got someone's reference from my classes, but was absolutely rejected in the interview itself. Aaba got a reference from a lady in the bank which he frequented. Rohini Mavshi. 'आंधळा मागतो एक डोळा आणि देव दोन देतो'. She is better than Jayashree Mavshi minus the flaws, minus the holidays. She is phyically more active and also helps with household work. Right now, she is your mavshi and you both are doing fine. We are hoping and praying that she continues for a long long time.
            The concept of bai is getting modrrnized. From consulting agencies now, we may get 'bai' on apps. Maybe the practice of keeping a 'bai' will be completely redundant when you grow up. But, until then, these are the people who have played a part in your childhood. You will not even know them, but we will be thankful to them forever.