God cannot be everywhere.....

               On 1st january, 2019, a mother was born. Long before that on 30th November, 1981, a sweet, cuddly, chubby and heavy daughter was born to the Kelekars. A third daughter. They wished for a son, after 2 daughters. But, it was a girl again. A girl who was going to be the reason i live for and you are the reason, the girl lives for.
                It was aai's first  birthday after your birth, which was sort of a rebirth of her. So i decided to make it special for her. Foodwise, we celebrated a birthday week. I made every possible dish she likes and to top it up, i made Lasagne. A specialty of Swapna mavshi, one of aai's favourite dish. She never thought i will make it for her, but i did and that brought tears to eyes and saliva to her mouth.
               On the eve of the  birthday, we decided to have starters and drink and watch a movie. Aai had a breezer after nearly 2 years. The movie was Hritik's WAR on amazon prime. I had bought earpods especially for the occassion and we watched the movie on my new mobile (which i could buy thanks to aai). You were fast asleep and did not wake up for the cake cutting at 12.
               Having a birthday on a weekend makes it extra special. I also bunked my classes on saturday and sunday. A mcdonalds birthday was followed by a lunch at BBC with all the Vengsarkars. Then the birthday party moved to Vagdevi. There was an early evening cake cutting done by both Mah-aaji and Aai. Priya mavshi then went home (thankfully) to celebrate her anniversary.
               You had a jolly good time being the centre of attraction, getting pampered by both the mavshis and mah-aaji and aajoba and even spandan dada and both the tai's. Playing and jumping all over the bed mattresses was a new game you discovered.
               Aai had a 2 hour session at school on Sunday, but that did not dampen our spirits, because it was your 11th month birthday celebration. A lunch ordered from Shahnaz spiced up the sweetness of the fourth chocolate cake we had eaten over the last two days.
               There was another party at Gomant kutir with another cake and a pav-bhaji and dahi vada dinner.  We just came back home upstairs and i am just chronicling all the events since friday night. Just plain events for now, memories for tomorrow.
                Talking about memories, the best gift aai received was not the cash or the dress or the biscuits or the lasagne. It was you who gave her a moment she will remember forever. Sunday was the day when her Ruhaan stood without support for the first time ever. Aai turned 38 and you reached a milestone. Soon you will stand without support and you will need her to hold you anymore. But, whenever in life, you need a hand, just turn back. Your mother is standing there eager to hold you.

....and they lived happily ever after

         'What if?'  I always wonder 'what if?' What if i would have become an actor? What if your mother would have settled in the USA? What if she would have stuck to her decision of not marrying at all? What if i never had posted that profile on matrimonial site for fun?
         But, Life is something which happens to you when you are planning something else. Me and your mother both had different paths of life, but we were meant to meet on a crossroad and then make the journey together. It was not exactly a walk in the sunshine, but both of us shared an umbrella of love and survived all storms together.
         There was love, romance, togetherness, happiness. Family time, eating out, festivals, movies, weekend binge, vacations. There was a everything a happy couple needs. There were memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes and a promise to never give up on each other.
         But, it was a bubble of happiness. A hollow bubble filled with emptiness. A life which was incomplete. Something was missing. The jigsaw of our marriage lacked a very important piece. And it took 9 years for us to complete it.
         Between 9th November 2010 to 9th November 2019, we celebrated 8 marriage anniversaries, partied with family, remembered our love. But this year was different. This year, our marriage seemed complete. Marriage is held together by threads, hundreds of tiny threads which are sewn together through years. But, you are the strong bond, which is going to keep these threads together and make our marriage stronger.
       We celebrated at home with malwani food in the afternoon, celebrated again at night with some starters and cold drinks, celebrated the next day afternoon at deepa restaurant along with Aatu to celebrate her birthday and celebrated again on Sunday evening at Priya mavshi's home along with Kala aaji and all Kelekars. The only difference between this year's celebration was you were a part of all celebrations.Rather, this year we were not celebrating our marriage; we were celebrating the reason we were destined to marry - YOU.

....तोचि दिवाळी दसरा

        Memory has always been my strongest asset. And most of my childhood memories; the good ones; have been asoociated with festivals, celebrated with friends and families. Ganpati, diwali, raksha bandhan, bhaubeej, holi have given me some real sweet moments of my life. And the moments became sweeter when your mother came into my life. Diwali had more lights and Holi was more colourful, with her around.
        This is your year of firsts and for us, your first festivals made them more meaningful. After celebrating gatari along with your monthly birthday on 1st August, we were ready for Shravan with great anticipation and excitement.
       On 15th august, we celebrated your first ever rakshabandhan. Madhavi (bhurra) aatu came to our place along with aaryaa tai and aadyaa tai. You were extremely fascinated by the huge doll-like figure tied on your hand. Later you were more attached to your first ever return gift - diapers.
      There was another rakshabandhan on 18th August. Yogesh mama and Shekhar mama had come home to tai rakhi to your aai along with all the mavshis (swapna, priya, sonali). Sanveda tai and Sannah tai tied very cute rakhis on your hand, One was a chhota bheem and other one was a light-emitting doremon. There will be a day when you will be attending weddings of all the tai-log. You are the youngest child in both families and hence are getting the most amount of love from them. I hope you return the love and stand like a rock besides them when they need you.
     18th August was not only the day of rakshabandhan, but also the day of your first Satynarayan puja. We were doing it since last 2 years, and i hope when you are reading this, we would have done a puja every year. It brings the whole family together in a much different way than a party. I can't explain it, but there is vibrancy and a positive energy in the air.
     Aai wanted Khadilkar guruji for the puja and her wish came true. Deu was assigned with the food, but the breakfast (sabudana khichdi) was prepared by your aai and the prasad was made by Mah-aaji.
You made a cute picture with white kurta with jacket and white dhoti. Looking like a shetji, your aura was competing with that of the almighty. And above all, like a good kid, you did not trouble us at all and allowed the whole puja to be conducted smoothly. There will be a time in a few years, when we will do your 'MOONJ' and then you will be the one who will be doing the puja and dadda will be sitting on the sofa with a tear in one eye and pride in the other.
     One more interesting festival we celebrated was Dahihandi. Aatu, Aadyaa tai and Aaryaa tai painted the handi. I had bought a lot of things to dress you up like a bal-krishna and you looked exactly that. Tying the handi on the rope was a task, but getting you up on my back to break the handi was great fun. The handi never broke, but there was dahi on our clothes and the floor. There was mess and laughter everywhere and another day to remember.
     Ganpati for me were the happy days at dombivali, which has made the bond between the Vengpande cousins stonger. For you, it will be the happy days at Mulund, where you will create memories with Aadyaa tai, Anusha Tai, Yana Tai. One day, you will be singing aartis loudly and feasting on modaks. I hope the next generation of cousins will continue our legacy.
    Along with these festivals, there was also Sanveda tai's birthday, Dah-aaji's 70th birthday and Aditi aatya's baby shower. Navratri and dusshera followed and Aatu gifted you a gold 'Aapta' leaf. Your 'ushtavan' was a major function which i have discussed in the previous blog. One more major happening was your first haircut by a barber in vagdevi.
     But, one thing me and aai were waiting for was Diwali. With your birth, this was indeed a 'diwali' for us. There was shopping, lights, lanterns, kandil, diyas and rangoli. There was the early morning songs, the ritualistc oil massage and bath with 'ootna'. There was the ovalni, the breaking of 'kaarit', the faral and ovalni at aaba's place, the visit to aatu's place and then the celebration at Vagdevi.
   There was the usual gift and envelope sharing. There was bhaubeej- 3 of them. There was a bhaubeej with aatu and aaryaa-aadyaa tai at our place, one with kelekars at swapna aatu's place and one with kamat family at sona resort, kelve. There was the annual aai's irritation with crackers and there was also a 3 day stay by priya mavshi.
    Amongst all these, there were you. Shining like a bright light in an orange kurta, absorbing all the adulation, being the centre of attraction, being carried by various people, playing, eating and sleeping (with a little bit of cough). Diwali was always bright and auspicious, but it was more than that this year. Because, there were you.

एक घास काऊचा

        Your aai and me never matched our 'patrika' before our marriage. I don't know how many of our गुण matched, but one thing surely matched, for good or worse - The love for food. Although, we have completely different tastes, food has made our bond stronger. Traditional maharashtrian food, probably vegeterian is what your aai drools over, while i am a carnivore and can devour anything with bones. But, our culinary differences aside, food has been at the crux of our relationship, before you came over. What started over a macdonald's burger at oberoi mall, got parent's nod with mutton pav at gomant kutir and kheema pohe at vagdevi and got more committed at tanmak thai. Our love brewed at the coffee at sonu's ccd, we shared moments while sharing a panipuri/dahipuri plate, it got spicier with a changu-mangu vada-misal. Our first fight was over a jaljeera, i had to butter her up with a ramkrishna pavbhaji, but our cold wars ended with an icecream. Family bonding increased with meals at Deepa, BBC or Aaple Samadhan. We ate when we were happy and we ate when we were sad. Our life was a buffet of emotions, like the spread at china gate.
        I have already chronicled your love story with milk and how you were now having an affair with 'khimat' (the mushed up food). But, with our blood flowing in your veins, you had already started 'eyeing' up food on our plates. That grunting sound and that 'bhukkad' look you gave everytime anyone was eating, hastened our decision to give you solid food. You had already started tasting a little bit of food here and there, but the official 'ushtavan' had to be done.
       6th October 2019. Asthami. Sunday. Aai had elaborate plans. Vagdevi was ready for the function. Mah-aaji had knee troubles, but she couldn't let go the chance of cooking your first meal. Priya mavshi and Sannah tai were already there. Shekhar mama and yogesh mama were going to feed you. We picked Swapna mavshi and sanveda tai on the way. Everyone had a vadapav in the car and immediately, the bhukkad in you started grunting. You had a pre-ushtavan of batatavada in the car itself.
      Lunch was simple, veg, no onion-garlic. Varan-bhaat, tup, batata bhaaji, puranpoli. Cameras were set. A nice lunch in a silver plate adorned with rangoli. Shekhar mama said a shlok and वदनी कवळ. And finally, he fed you your official first घास. Irony is that your first morsel of food was fed by a strictly vegetarian man who never eats anything away from his home.
      Yogesh mama was next and then everyone followed. You were being fed and your aai was getting satisfied. It was one tick in her bucket list out of the many things she wants to do with you in mind.
        2 days later, it was another ushtavan at our home. It was dusshera. So the menu was same with puri-basundi as the sweet dish. You liked this as well. For you, anything is ok, lest it is food.
        The next day was supposed to be a fish day, but the plans went awry due to rohini mavshi's absence. I made chicken the next day and thursday was your first date with chicken. Finally, Aaba's dream of feeding you a pomfret bore fruit on Friday. (Now it has become a weekly routine).
        You love food, especially nonveg. You hate it when we stop to refill the spoon with more food. Your grunting sounds and that hungry stare is still there. A new sound akin to मिटक्या मारणे has been added. You have developed tastes. Like your father, you detest plain varan-bhaat. You need a bit of spice or tang. Your mavshis have gifted you a high chair,but as of now you don't like to sit on it for a meal.
         I dont know what you will grow up to be. But, you will surely be a foodie. That is in your genes. Maybe, you will blame us if you become fat or maybe we will be jealous of you if you remain fit. We will have fights over who is going to have the last chicken lollypop. Not eating dinner was your father's way of showing anger. I hope that will not be the case with you. One day, both of us will cook a meal together for your mother and debate over who is a better cook.
        Food brought your mother and me close and Food will make us a happy family.
        
      
    

What's in a name.....

           'Gondu'. I think that was the first name by which i called you on the day of your birth. Then started the avalanche of names for the next few days. Every person who met you had one or sometimes a new one every day. 'Sonu', Babdu', Oshimani', 'Chinimanya', 'Shanu-Gunu' were the most used ones. But, your little eyes twinkled whenever i called you 'Oshigompush'. Don't know what it meant, but you loved it. Gradually, Oshigompush gave way to 'Gompuli' and the twinkled eyes were accompanied by a sweet dimpled smile.
             'नावं ठेवणं' comes naturally to many of us, but giving you a name was a very important decision. Your mother and me had started contemplating on that issue, right since the day we came to know about the pregnancy. I was expecting twins and i was going to call them Aabhas and Yatharth. Once the sonography showed a single embryo, i was fixated on 'Yatharth' which meant Truth. I was so persuasive about the name that i called you by that name throughout your stay in the womb. So much so that, there was a whattsapp group called Yatharth which included me, mah-aaji, aajoba, swapna mavshi and priya mavshi. We used to discuss your mother's mood swings at length in that group.
           We had certain ground rules about your name. Since Vengsarkars have 2 daughters starting with 'A' and Kelekars have 3 children starting with 'S', names starting with these 2 letters were completely out of question. Unfortunately, it ruled out your mother's choice of name 'Anvay'. We didn't want a जोडाक्षर in your name, making it tough to pronounce. A name which cannot be shortened was a priority. Mangesh and Madhavi were always mangu/mangya/mungi and madhu, which we didn't want to happen to you. Your mother wanted Ganpati's name since Mangesh means Shiva and her other is Uma which means Parvati. But, most of the good ganpati names started with A or were already taken up by others. After many deliberations, we were not even close to finalising a name for you and the due date was approaching fast. And then one day.....lets talk about it later.
          Selecting a date and venue for your naming ceremony was a task i wasn't really much involved in. It was a Kelekar function (paid by aajoba and mah-aaji) and i had decided to take a backseat. (Taking a backseat is not being aggresive, but giving subtle hints assertively and nonchalantly making people agree to you). All the Kelekars (read-Priya) had heated discussions on date, time, venue, menu, guests and finally they came to a decision.
          Saraswati Mandir hall was the preferred venue and the talk were already at an advanced stage. But, the decided date was 10th February, a Sunday. It was also Vasant panchami and a Shubh divas. On that day, Saraswati Mandir was already booked. After much contemplation, Status Banquet was finalised, although it was a bit overbudget. I taggged along with Aajoba, and Priya Mavshi to Status for finalising things. Aajoba was trying to sweet-talk with the manager in konkani, since he  was a goan.The menu finalising was a very interesting task. After much heated discussion (read-priya), everyone decided to go with the menu i had already tick-marked on the menu card.
          We contacted the decorator recommended by the manager, but it was extremely expensive. Sheetal kaka and others were pitching their ideas. All of a sudden an idea struck me and i convinced others about it. We decided to go with a background of ur clothes, ur 'duptis' and your photos. A rented wooden  पाळणा with flower arrangement on it placed on a red carpet at the centre. And the highlight of it all was a लखोटा made by Sheetal kaka, which will be unrolled to reveal your name.
          The previous day was extremely hectic and everyone was busy getting ready and packing stuff. Sanveda tai was helping me throughout the evening to make the background charts. Sheetal kaka and priya mavshi (read-she is a gem) were getting the लखोटा ready since the morning.
           The big day arrived. We went early to get the venue ready. But, it was not opened. The flowers, the पाळणा, the carpet, the Nerurkars and The Shekhar Kaka was there before us. We waited for around 30 minutes before the venue opened. We were running against time to get the decorations ready. But we managed and the decorations were appreciated by everyone. The guest also appreciated the starters; some overappreciated them. The lunch was also something everyone will remember for a long time.
             But, what i will remember is the moment when you finally had an identity of your own. A month before the delivery, completely out of the blue, i came up with a name for a girl 'Rooh' meaning soul. It was good, but it became even better when we changed the gender of that word.
After all the Oti-bharni, i asked everyone to keep calm. Madhavi aatya said your name in your ears. I stood before the crowd and said my shayri. Sachin kaka and Sheetal kaka slowly unrolled the लखोटा, in which the shayari and your name was written. World, lo and behold, My son has a name.
RUHAAN. Mangesh and Pooja's RUHAAN.
           As you grow up, 'Ruhaan' will become your recognition. You will carry a card or name tag saying "RUHAAN". I hope the whole world knows the name oneday, "RUHAAN MANGESH VENGSARKAR".
          And if somebody asks you, what does Ruhaan mean, just give your distinctive smile and say,

" कुछ दिमाग में रहते हैं,

   कुछ दिल में धसते हैं . 

  जो दिल से करीब हो,

 वो रूह में बसते हैं. 

                               जो जुबां की बात सुनता हैं, 

                    वो इन्सान होता हैं. 

                                      जो रूह के जजबात समझता हैं,

                      वो रुहान होता हैं. "

          
          
          

बाई, वाड्यावर या ......

          As you grow up in life, you will understand that घरातलं बाईमाणुस is never the mother or wife or grandmother. It is a vague term given to all those ladies who work to help the ladies who work. However, weird it many sound, the 'बाई' in Indian households are more revered than parents, family or even GOD. Bhagwan 33 crore mil jaate hain, ek achhi bai nahi milti. A woman most of the times prefer dumping her husband than hurting the sentiments of her बाई.
          Until now, we have been fortunate on that front. With both of us working and all of our parents above 70, we needed that extra set of hands and we were lucky to get some good ones at that, ofcourse with its own ups and downs.
          If you had been born a few years before 2019, you would have been practically raised single handedly by Sarita. She was instrumental in taking care of Aaryaa tai and Aadyaa tai. She stayed with us for more than 10 years and was a part of our family. She was present during your birth and even during your naming ceremony. But, something was off. Maybe her marriageable  age or her ailing father in her village or maybe Aaba's overtly 'sweet' nature or maybe her salary. Something was eating her up and she decided to quit. It came as a shock when she declared her decision and it was difficult to imagine raising you without her at beck and call. But, noone is irreplaceable and soon her void was filled.
         But before talking about who replaced her, there are many others who played their parts in your growth in the first year.
           Reshma mavshi was appointed over the rough-handed laxmi mavshi to give you massage and bath. While the latter's hands were rough, the former's ways were rough. She used to come late at around 12 or 12.30. You cried a lot during the whole process, but after the bath you slept like a baby. ( That phrase can't be used. You were a baby). Aai denied her massage services and was also apprehensive about taking a bath from her. She continued with us till we shifted base to Vagdevi.
            Usha mavshi was Reshma mavshi's replacement at Mahim. Initially, we had a tough time getting anyone, and when she came to meet for the first time, her appearance created doubts in our mind. But, with you, she was a breath of fresh air. Very gentle with her handling, whispering sweet nothings to you, her trademark 'sonu' repeated time and again, I think you enjoyed your time with her. You never cried during the massage or bath. She used to eat our brains with her nonsensical talks, but her work made us bear all that. Surprsingly, you did not accept her a second time round during our ganpati stay at mahim.
            Sharmila and Sunita were Mah-aaji's maids at Mahim. While Sunita was the caring one, Sharmila kept her distance.Sunita also had a grandson who got many of your clothes. Sharmila was all about her work and the breakfast which Mah-aaji served her (even if it kept aajoba hungry sometimes).
             When we returned to Dahisar, the भांडी, झाडू, लादी duties were taken up by Hansa Bai. An old lady with white hair, but meticulous with her work as a replacement bai and casual with the same as a permanent one. Her 'पंखा बंद करू?' was a constant source of irritation for aai and aaba. In due course, she became friends with you and even played with you. You enjoyed sitting in the kitchen watching her wash the utensils.
              But, the most important question about a bai to take your care was answered by Jayashri Mavshi. She was recommended by Sandhya Aatya and had taken Devang's care during his early years. She herself had a small granddaughter at home. She was clean and you gelled with her like a fish in water. She came at 9, left at 6, gave u massage and bath, changed your diapers, fed you, made you sleep, took care of you, washed your clothes, cleaned your bottles. But......she had her flaws. She had her physical limitations. She avoided playing with you and i wonder what she would have done now that you are crawling all over and standing and trying to walk. She had her paper-reading time, had a 2 hour nap time in the afternoon, had 2 spoons of sugar in her tea, needed some food after she gave you bath. We were ok with all of it, as she was great with you. But her holidays were a deal-breaker.  Long holidays for someone's death, someone's heartattack coupled with reluctance to come to work when Aai had a holiday, made Aai think about alternatives. She was costing a bomb too. Her patience with Jayashree mavshi finally ended after she failed to come to work giving some petty reason after a rainy day. She was fired with immediate effect.
             The search started again. I got someone's reference from my classes, but was absolutely rejected in the interview itself. Aaba got a reference from a lady in the bank which he frequented. Rohini Mavshi. 'आंधळा मागतो एक डोळा आणि देव दोन देतो'. She is better than Jayashree Mavshi minus the flaws, minus the holidays. She is phyically more active and also helps with household work. Right now, she is your mavshi and you both are doing fine. We are hoping and praying that she continues for a long long time.
            The concept of bai is getting modrrnized. From consulting agencies now, we may get 'bai' on apps. Maybe the practice of keeping a 'bai' will be completely redundant when you grow up. But, until then, these are the people who have played a part in your childhood. You will not even know them, but we will be thankful to them forever.
            

देव देव्हाऱ्यात नाही.....

        GOD has always been a complex issue for me. I consider myself a non-believer. I have my doubts and many unanswered questions about God. Over the years, I have searched for God and Godliness around me, but to no avail. And then i saw those pics. Maybe, i was looking in the wrong place. If that smile is not heavenly, nothing can come close.

        In my childhood, every evening, I used to stand praying before the Gods in our देव्हारा, say (not sing) 'शुभं करोती' and 'प्रारंभी विनंती' in full speed without feelings. More than भक्ती, it was my dad's frightening eyes which made me do that 'religiously'. But then i grew up and so did my rebel nature. Seeing dad abusing someone just after his pooja or knowing about some people who were very religious and very corrupt at the same time, took me away from god. Evening prayers stopped, visit to temples stopped. After marriage, since Aai shared the same views, my atheism got support. We never prayed or even lighted the diya in our देव्हारा. We broke our family's rules about eating nonveg on Monday or Sankasthi.
       Not being religious also led to not being superstitious. From a boy who used the same pilot pen throughout an exam for luck, i became a man who completely threw caution to the winds.
       If your Aai coming into life vindicated my stand about religion, your arrival changed it topsy-turvy.
         I think it all started with the cot in the bedroom. Its location was north-south since it was made. Your mother wanted some change. So i changed the cot's direction to east-west and in just a few months we got your news. That sowed the seeds of superstition in me.
         Your aai watched a serial 'Sai-Shraddha aur saburi' during her IVF treatment. It made her calm and filled her with positivity. I was a man who always cringed about the crowds at Shirdi, but now i want to take you there, just to say thanks. Not only that, i have made it a point to close my eyes everytime, i pass Saidham in kandivali.
         Once we revealed the news of the pregnancy, me, aai, aajoba, Mah-aaji and priya mavshi went on a temple tour to Saimandir in girgaum, Mahalaxmi temple and Siddhivinayak Mandir. I was not really interested, but tagged along. After your birth, we made that tour again. With you in our arms, I understood the significance of the tour.

          We also took you to Udyan ganesh in Shivaji park and Shitladevi mandir in Mahim. I am sure the Gods were definitely pleased to see you.  Soon, we will go to Goa and visit the temples there, especially Mangueshi.
            Just last Sunday, we had a Satnarayan puja at our home and it was your first. We made you Krishna yesterday and celebrated dahihandi. Now, i am looking forward to Ganpati.

           Visiting temples was still ok, but my superstitious nature was at another level. After your birth, for the first few nights, i woke up in the middle of the night to see if you were breathing properly. It became a norm for me to check out your breathing in the middle of the night.
            During your aai's IVF treatment, when she went for sonography, i used to stand outside with my fingers crossed. Sometimes, it used to take a long time and my fingers hurt, but i was doing it for you. I had also kept my fingers crossed throughout ht your delivery.
              I loved killing spiders in all nooks and corners, but did not kill a single one during the pregnancy period. I didn't want any curse of any spider to befall you.
            And then there is that yellow and green bag. I had carried it accidentally once to the IVF centre. I dont remember, what happened, but after that during every visit to the Ivf centre or during every visit to Pragati hospital or even during your delivery and now during visits to your pediatrician, that bag has always accompanied me.
            Having dahi or going to aaba's place to touch their feet and pray before their gods, before every visit to Ivf centre or Pragati hospital was a regular feature during treatment and pregnacy. It was more of a superstition than devotion.
            What did you change? Is it fear or worry or concern or devotion or superstition or anxiety or nervousness? I can sum it up in one word. It is called LOVE.
          

Woh pehli baar....

                            When was the last time you did something for the first time?
   There are many things you will do first time in your life and will remember them forever. But, there are many things you did first time in your life and I and Aai will remember them forever. Your first smile, first laughter, first rollover, first outing, first time in a hotel, everything is etched in our memory. But, last week was a week of many firsts.
             For years, I was the only victim of Aai's annual clothes shopping. For the first time, I got a partner to wait for hours outside the changing room. A cute little partner who behaved like a gentleman in the mall. It was your first timein a mall. The lights dazzled you and the sounds were unnerving. But, you, like your dadda were there with one mission only - aai's shopping. While we were waiting outside the changing room, I realised the value of being a father in a mall. Never before, so many beautiful faces had glanced at me. I hope your aai takes us shopping again.
               Sannah tai's birthday party was planned on Saturday. A get together at their place followed by a dinner at Status restaurant. As usual, we were supposed to by car. Swapna mavshi and Sanveda tai were going to tag along. But, google maps had other ideas. 2 blockages due to accidents and suddenly the time to Mahim was 1 hour and 20 minutes. Some contemplation and deliberations later, we decided to travel to Mahim by train. Aai told our decision to Swapna mavshi and she decided to go on her own. We got you ready and while going to station, stopped at Aaba's place to tell them our decision who were shell shocked. Aaji's face was worth watching.
                 It was a Bhayander to Churchgate fast train. We took you by second class. It was quite empty and we got to sit quite comfortably. You were completely in awe. Wide-eyed, you were looking around, watching everything. The handles, the seats, the windows, the people, everything was new for you. The breeze blowing on your face did its work to perfection and you were asleep by Andheri. You did not wake up even during the changeover at Bandra or when we got down at Mahim. Nothing special for you, but for me, it brought back the memories of my childhood when we did not own a car and train travel to Santacruz during Bhaubeej and to Dombivali during Ganpati was the most anticipated event. Have i already started seeing my childhood in yours?
               One day, you will travel in a train regularly and you will walk all the way to the station or sometimes run to reach on time. Walking and running is still some time away, but u crawled for the first time. And now, just in a few days, you are an expert. And for us, it has become a nightmare. You crawl all the way under the chairs in the corner of the room, or sometimes to the sandals near the shoestand. You have taken a special liking to Aai's slippers as well.
                If saving you from colliding with things is a nightmare, then saving you from falling from bed is a herculean task. You now can easily crawl and climb over the pillows we put on the edges for protection.
               You have also learnt to hold to support and stand. You can now easily pick up things from the bedroom's window sill. In the living room, you actually stood up using the sofa as support and then proceeded to tear up the newspaper on the sofa.
            Talking about first time, you now can sit perfectly and Jayshree mavshi actually bathes you with you in a sitting position.
                 It was also the first time that Dadda took you for vaccination alone. It was the first time Aai missed your doctor's appointment due to school. (I had missed the last vaccination).
                 Not exactly the first, but yesterday, we celebrated your 7th month birthday and due to our busy schedules, the cake was cut at 10.00 pm. That was a first. You were barely awake.
                  There will be a first crush, a first girlfriend, a first heartbreak, a first stage performance, a first big achievement and maybe a first failure. You will make your own 'first time' memories. And while you are busy doing that, me and Aai will be busy reminiscing those cute 'first time' moments when u 'crawled' all over our lives.

Lo chali mein....

               Getting used to something irresistible leads to over indulgence. Over indulgence leads to forming a habit. Habits leads to addiction. It is difficult to resist an addiction. And how can one get cured from an addiction which is a cute, smiling, small playful bundle of joy called RUHAAN.
                Your mother got a 6 month pregnancy leave. And with our intricate planning, we manged to combine it with her school vacation. Your eagerness to come out early and our no-risk approach preponed your delivery date. So your mother's leave was also preponed. Overall, a 7 and half month holiday from December to 17th July.But the thought that it will end brought Aai to TEARS.
                 It is not that your mother doesn't love her work. Rather she is very professional. But her priorities had changed. From waking up in the morning to your cries to sleeping in the night with you snuggling besides her, you had become her life. Even the thought of returning to work and leaving you along brought her to TEARS.
                Days became weeks and weeks became months and July arrived in a jiffy. It was time to plan for the day when we both will be at work and you will be alone at home atleast for some time. My plan was ready. We will take you down to Aaba's place at 6.45 am when we leave for work. Aaba and Dah-aaji will take care of you for 2 hours.Jayashri mavshi will come there at about 9 am. She will stay there until I come back from morning lectures at 10.30 am. Then we will bring you home. Mavshi will look after you. I will look after the kitchen. Aai will return home around 5 pm. Then she will be with you. Jayashri mavshi will leave at around 6. pm. Whether Aaba should come upstairs or not in the evening was a slight matter of debate. Weekends, you will be home throughout the day. Simple, meticulous and feasible. The plan was set. But, Aai was not ready to let go and was already in TEARS.
            Training started a week prior. Even though Aai had a week of vacation left, she woke up early and took you downstairs to Aaba's place when i left for my morning lectures. She trained Aaba and Dah-aaji to prepare your milk bottle and to clean your shit. She did not even hold you for the time you were there. It was very difficult for her. She even went to Dadar once for some hours, just to get used to be away from you during school hours. She was trying to be brave, determined and practical, but most of the times, she was in TEARS.
            16 th july was the most difficult day. She did not send you downstairs. She held you the whole day like there was no tomorrow. She played with you, hugged you, kissed you and then held you tighter. Call me crazy, but you too were unusually restless. That night, when she was singing her lullabies and trying to make you sleep, I could see her breaking to pieces. And yes, TEARS.
            17th morning. We got ready for work. Something we did together after 7 and half months. Your bag was ready. I was ready. You were ready. Aai was not ready. She was in tears.
             We picked you up in your slumber and took you downstairs. Aaba took you in his arms, but Aai was feeling heavy. The usual ritualistic dahi-eating was done and it was time to leave for us, but for Aai, it was leaving behind a part of her. She was in tears.
              She sat in the car crying, tried to wave her hand at you as Aaba was holding you in the balcony. I doubt if she was even able to see you with her eyes filled with tears.
              She calmed down by the time we reached Kandivali. Then i gave her a 'Missing You' Card on your behalf. Guess what, she again was in tears.
              You were the usual. Enjoying the day like it was any other day. I wasn't there when she came back home, so can't write about that. Mah-aaji and aajoba came down on friday along with a visit from swapna mavshi and sanveda tai. The routine is now set. The plan is getting executed very well with some glitches, but having Aatu around always helps. Aai's life is back on track and this time her evenings are also being spent well. (She will not nag me anymore about my evening batches.)
             The only problem with the whole setup is lack of sleep. I am busy cooking, studying or playing with you which does not allow me to take a nap in the afternoons. Aai's evening nap has also gone for a toss. Her night sleep is also not sound enough, as you wake up sometimes asking for a feed. So, except for sleep everything is great. Aai has also started gossiping about her school which is a great indication for normalcy. The best thing is that there are no more tears.
             And i remember zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
               

The 6 month diary

           It seems just like yesterday when the nurse placed a crying bundle of joy in my trembling arms. It is 6 months today and the same bundle of joy is 8.5kgs and barely fit in my arms.
            You have come along way in these 6 months. You turn over completely, though only from the right side. On the mat in the hall, you turn over on your stomach, but cant roll over and hence start crying. But, when are on the bed, you start rolling and reach the edges in no time. You try crawling, especially when you want to grab our mobile phones. You have a fascination for mobile phones. The light coming from it and the various sounds during video calls fascinate you. Thankfully, your mother is very strict about not showing you the screen. 
            Another thing that attracts you is the television screen and we have to switch it off if you are around, since you smartly turn your head towards it when everyone is busy talking. You love songs, especially my 'Surmayi aankhiyon mein'. You are attentive when your mother tries to calm you down in the night with gayatri mantras and other shlokas, and quite playful when she sings you 'maakdche dukan' or 'Sheptiwalya pranyanchi sabha'. Aaba's chiu-kau story has become an evening norm, and you go to sleep as soon as he starts singing, especially 'eka talyat hoti'. You also wave your hand a lot like aajoba, after he had just once showed you 'tha ga tha'.
          You love music, you love all the sounds i make, you are attracted to colours and shapes and designs on bedsheets. One bad habit you have is grabbing fingers and putting them in your mouth and if nobody is around, it is your own hand.
           You normally sleep by around 10.30-11 and wake up at 7-7.30. Fortunately, you do not disturb your mother much at night, but sometimes you like to suckle on her just as comfort feed.
           Your 6-month birthday was attended by aaba, dah-aaji, kakoja and torrential rains. It is raining cats and dogs for last 2-3 days. We have a leakage issue near the balcony. You are pissing by the litres and clothes are not drying up. Sanah Tai is not well and we all are worried. Madhavi aatya gave her resignation today and Aaba and Mahaaji are worried.
           Lot of things changed in the last 6 months. India did an air strike on Pakistan. Mosque attacks in New Zealand and terrorist attack on Srilankan churchs were in the news. Modi won the Loksabha elections again. Mumbai Indians won the IPL. Manchester city won the EPL, Chelsea won europa league and Liverpool won the champions league.
          Onion-tomatoes are at 20-20 per kg, tomatoes at 40/kg, maggi at 14/pack, colddrink at 40/600ml, eggs are 60/dozen, chicken biryani at bbc costs 240/big packet. Gold is 34655. Sensex is 39686 and nifty is 11865.
          All these things will change, the world will be a different place. But what wont change ever will be the way you laugh, the way you smile and the way you respond to 'Ruhaan maaza' or 'Daddachi Gompuli'.

The journey.....we started together

         Dates were finalised.  Plans were made. Wheels were set in motion. We were going to Pune. Your first vacation. A vacation a mother longed for 2 years.
         We were going to stay at Vidyadhar aajoba and Shubhangi aaji's home in Pune. Your mother's childhood vacation memories are mostly about Pune at her Mama-Mami's home along with their son Viraj. After our marriage, we had been to their place a lot of times. Your mother loves the drive on the expressway especially in the monsoons. The greenery in the ghats, the waterfalls from the hills, the drizzling raindrops on the car window, the batatawada and tea break at the food mall, everything on that route along with mami's great food makes every Pune trip a memorable experience.
         Aajoba and Mah-aaji wanted to stay a bit longer. So the plan was that they will go on Monday in a taxi. We will join them there on Friday and all of us will return to Dahisar on Sunday, just a day before your birthday. I arranged my lectures accordingly. Everything was set, the vacation was on.
         Friday (exactly a week before our trip) was the day when then your mother and you joined Aaba and Dah-aaji on a trip to Mulund. It was a little late till she realised that you had loose motions. Cleaning you with wipes many times resulted in rashes. Your groin skin had become so painful and sensitive that we had to take you to Dr. Shenoy immediately. There was relief with respect to rashes, but loose motions continued. On Monday, your mother took you to Dr.Mistry. He changed the medicines and told us that it will take atleast 3 days for you to get better. Our plan was on tenterhooks. We decided to wait till Wednesday evening to make a final decison.
         Thankfully, your motions reduced and we had a sigh of relief. But, Aaba and Dah-aaji were not completely pleased with the idea that we were taking you to Pune immediately after your bowel problems. At the same time, Sannah tai got unwell. On Thursday, when we were shopping, packing, managing maids and milk/paper vendors, filling up the tank of our car, getting ready for our first trip together, some forces in the universe were coming together and plotting against us. By Thursday evening, the trip was finally cancelled. I was sad. Your mother's hopes had dashed to the extent that she was in tears. Our little vacation had got called off.
       A vacation. A break from routine. Travel to a new destination. An off-road trip. A trek holding hands together. An adventure around the corner. Loads of shopping. Joy, happiness, smiles and laughter and a bagful of memories.
       Wait a minute. That is exactly our last 6 months. Your birth is all the above and so much more. I had so many vacations, but i never had a better time than the last 6 months. It is a new journey. And the destination is beyond the horizon. A new reason to smile everyday. A new adventure every now and then. We have been to new places (Pragati hospital), we have traveled (our temple trip, Vagdevi trips), we have eaten well (Starbucks , BBC, Aaswad). We have met so many new people. We have done so many new things for the first time in our life.
         And the best part is that you are with us on this beautiful journey of life. Rather, for us, you are the journey. You were the paradise, we always wanted to visit. This vacation has made us more happy, more relaxed and more content. We will have so many vacations as you grow up, visit so many places, enjoy our holidays together. But, nothing can come close to the time we had together for the last 6 months. It will always be a vacation, will cherish the most.
          A good vacation is the one which he hate to end. I know your mother doesn't want to go back to school, she doesn't want this time to go anywhere.  Ah, and yes Pune...soon, pretty soon and that will be another story to tell.
     
        

हॉठो पे ऐसी बात.....

       "Good news कब दे रहे हो ?" Ever since I got married every aunty, sister, mavshi, aatya, bua, fufi, and even some men asked me this question hundreds of times. Some even asked this while standing for the photo during our reception. Some asked this so many times that i was tempted to reply with an insult, but the "angel" in me stopped me from doing so. Instead i gave answers like, "abhi amazon pe order kiya hain, delivery nahi hua ab tak" or "main toh last 10 saal se pregnant hoon" or "Panch-varshik yojna hain (5 year plan)"
        After our plethora of medical treatments and doctor shifting, we decided that our IVF treatment should be a secret. Even our parents should not know. It was quite difficult since aaba and Dah-aaji stayed on the first floor of the same building and their maid Sarita was a spy better than the RAW, IB, FBI and CIA put together. We had to think about new excuses every time we went for our consulation or your mother's injections. Making up stories like 'Going to mall, going to friend's home for lunch, going to movie, etc' took us back to our college days' relation with our parents.  Futhermore, your mother also had some guilt episodes and had some cravings about talking about the treatment with her parents or her sisters. But, thanks to some secrecy, some innovative excuses  no one knew about our treatment.
And then.... We got the news.
          We wanted to shout our lungs out, say it aloud to the whole world. But, it was just a positive test and we needed some more confirmation. The first sonography took place on 7th June. It was time. Time for the close relatives to know.
           'How to reveal' was a major matter of debate between your mother and me. I was always the more creative one, more adventurous, more out of the box. Your mother was the conservative one, more subtle, more 'no tamasha' kinda attitude.
            The 'reveal' in front of aaba, dah-aaji and aatu was a complete anti-climax. I wanted to surprise them. It happened the same day as your 1st sonography. Created a story about satyanarayan pooja at my place in september, but your mother wont be able to do the pooja. When they ask the reason, i was going to tell them, it will be her 4th month of pregnancy. I held the camera to capture their reactions. FffuuuSSSS. There were absolutely no reactions. It was like lighting up a fire cracker, waiting in anticipation and it sounding like a damp squib. The whole surprise was a complete fiasco. Yes, there was no surprise on any face, but the happiness on it was clearly visible. They had behaved responsibly throughout the last 8 years when the whole world asked about a grandchild. Never asked us uncomfortable questions or never gave a snide remark to your mother. Now, they had their wish. Gratification was obvious.
          8th June is 'Tatya's' death anniversary (Aajoba's father). Everyone gathers at Vagdevi. Your mother normally doesn't go, but we thought it would be an ideal day for the 'reveal'. The whole journey from dahisar to mahim was nothing but planning how to do it. I had a plan in mind and decided to go along with it. Aajoba, Mah-aaji, Kakoja, Priya mavshi, Swapna mavshi were present at Vagdevi. The plan was in motion and had to be executed before lunch.
          I told all of them that i wanted a 'Kelekar family' video. During the video they had to say aloud some things after me and once they were in a flow, i said 'Pooja pregnant aahe'. BULLSEYE. Surprise, Shock, Disbelief, Excitement, Joy, Speechless and then Shouts, Cheers, Laughters, Tears, Hugs. The video tells it all.
         ( I have edited it. There is a special performance by Priya mavshi in the latter part of the original video. Will love to show you that).
         We kept the news secret from other relatives till 3 months. I had plans about a Vengsarkar family reveal during Ganpati. But your Aaba's excitment couldn't keep it hush. After the chor-oti, Dah-aaji called her sisters to give the news, though I am very sure that she had done it much before. Your mother gave the good news to spandan dada, sanveda tai and sannah tai, on the day of spandan's birthday. They were quite surprised ( or if u trust my instincts, they acted quite surprised )
         Aajoba and Mah-aaji gave their own version of  surprise to Mangal aaji and Shaila aaji and their families. We also did a surprise reveal to Vidyadhar aajoba and Shubhangi aaji when they visited Vagdevi.
         Your mother had to tell the news to her seniors (Nick and Diane) in school and to her friend Shamal and her 'Banana Leaf'. But she kept it a secret for along time from other colleagues, especially 2 of the most भोचक ones. When the news finally came out, it spread like wildfire and your mother will never be able to forget the reaction of the students, who were happy about the pregnancy but sad that she wont be teaching them in the next semester.
          Your first smile, first teeth, first food, first words, first walk, first ganpati, first diwali, first birthday, first day of school, first result , first bat-ball, first cycle, first crush,........everything will be news. Photos will be clicked, Videos will be shared. It will be put on Whattsapp and Facebook (i hope not). But 'THE NEWS' was the best one we ever shared. Best one we will ever share, till you share 'the news' with us.

  

Saza-e-kalapaani

           9 months in your mother's womb. I wonder how was the experience. Closed room... arteries, veins and nerves everywhere, total darkness, nothing to do. If you think that this is eerie, unnerving and torturous, wait till I tell you about the time I spent at your aajoba's place at Mahim after your birth.
          'Maherpan' is a very cliche tradition in hindu culture. Daughters shifting to their parents' house for delivery and returning only 3 months after delivery is an age-old concept. Fortunately, since our IVF clinic was at Borivali and the maternity home they had recommended was at Dahisar, shifting to Mahim for delivery was out of question. Your Mah-aaji and aajoba came to stay with us one day prior to your birth. They had been very supportive and helpful during our previous illnesses and this time was no different. Your Mahaaji's cooking and aajoba's tidiness helped us cruise through the initial few days of your birth.
            And then started the dreaded discussion of 'Maherpan', the 3 months of you and your mother staying at Mahim. One thought was both of you shifting there during April to June, when I would have been too busy with my lectures. But then I wanted to see you every day when I returned home and staying at Mahim during my busy schedule would have been difficult. So it was decided that the shifting happens immediately and the return to Dahisar in April before my classes started. Some debates and discussions later, 19th Jan was finalized.
           I never had an extended stay at Mahim, and without you around, I don't think it would have been possible. It is a spacious house. Separate room for us. No traffic during travel. Mahaaji cooks wonderful food. Everything was fine, but........ Dilip Jaywant Kelekar.
           Lets get one thing straight. He was never the problem. The problem was that we were poles apart. A doctor by profession, a disciplinarian by compulsion, a cleanliness freak by obsession, always confusion in making decision, unnecessary aggression, sometimes causing depression, led more by emotion, more discussion and less solution (a typical kelekar trend), your aajoba and me staying together was going to be nothing but a head-on collision.
          My habits were more Vengsarkar-like. Having a bath whenever i wanted to, not washing hands immediately after eating, eating on the bed instead of the dining table, keeping half-filled bottles in the fridge, clothes on chair, not keeping shoes in the rack. I was getting on his nerves. Being a जावई , he avoided direct confrontation with me. 'तोंड दाबून बुक्क्यांचा मार' was his state of mind and his frustrations were let out on his wife and your mother. Indirectly, i was getting the message and the air was filled with tension.
          But then ur dadda is one कोडगा  person. I did not change, will never change. I stayed there with aplomb, with my habits intact. Your Mahaaji is one cool lady. She doesn't care much, except a टोमणा or 2 everyday. She was more worried about me discovering expired things in her fridge.Your mother was trying to do a balancing act between her father and husband, but you kept her quite busy and she found her relaxation on the rocking chair.
          You were in a completely different world. U enjoyed Usha mavshi's oil massage and bath,  used to sleep for hours after that. (I hope u meet her once and listen to her "Sonu, Sonu"). Mahaaji' tel-maalish at night was an entertaining ritual before sleep. Giving you 3 medicines A-Z, liv52 and D3rich400 was a never a tough job, u loved them. Priya mavshi used to drop nearly every day and carry you, until her shoulder and neck gave way. Sunita and Sharmila mavshis were the maids at that time. Sharmila's complete disinterest in you caused quite some heated discussions. Aai's friends came to meet u, so did Manomay and Asmita Wagle. Shaila aaji, Mangal aaji dropped by. Loud-voiced Kamat kaki peeked through the door every day. Ur first month birthday forced Aaba and Dah-aaji to come all the way to Mahim.
        Vagdevi was a tough time for your dadda, but i dont think me, aai, mahaaji and especially aajoba will ever forget even a single moment of that time. The walls of Vagdevi are filled with the sounds of your crying, the sights of your smile, the scent of your baby-powder, the taste of your lactogen and its dahi. Every nook and corner has felt your touch and still yearning for it. Your every sense has been lovingly stored in every brick of Vagdevi.
          Today when you are reading this, Vagdevi wouldn't be standing anymore, most probably redeveloped. But over the years, there will be your childhood memories attached to that place. You will remember some of them, will forget many. But do one thing. Mahaaji must be quite old now. Go to her. Ask her to put some oil in your hair and sing 'aakko maakko tel makko' or 'Bhaiya dheere dheere chale'.
          And just wait. Close your eyes. From the other corner of the room, an old fellow in white clothes will say
"शाणू गुणु तो ".

           

Doodh ka Karz

        27/5/2019 Monday

       When the nurse brought you out from the OT, and your mother was still inside getting her stitches, you were crying with hunger. The nurse asked to get a tin of lactogen. It was early morning. So Swapna mavshi and Sachin kaka had to go all the way to borivali to get it. U drinking those drops of lactogen was reminiscent of a young small new-born sparrow chick stretching its beak to get a morsel of food from her mother.
       Then come the moment your mother was waiting for. The first breast feeding. The making of a mother. And what an anti-climax that was. Doctor had already suggested that age and Ivf would lead to decreased breast milk. But, she would have never imagined that the moment of bliss will lead to days of agony. The nurse's painful experiment on her, the hospital's lactation specialist, Madhavi aatya and Swapna mavshi pitching in with their own experiences and the relentless Aajis (one thinking her daughter can produce 20 litres a day and the other thinking her daughter in law is a dried up well) was just a start. Whatsapp groups of breastfeeding moms, searches on internet, a home visit by Dr. Mugdha joshi, buying a breast pump was the pinnacle. Sulken faces, depression became a norm. It is fun to see the same lady waking up 4 times in a night to give you a comfort feed.
      Being unsure about the amount of breast milk you were getting along with your long spells of sleep which we did not want to disturb, it just went unnoticed that you were not getting enough milk. Extremely less urine, no poop was just a symptom of dehydration, which we were late to understand. You had become severely underweight, loosing muscle and looked shriveled. Doctor asked us to start with outside milk, and you started gaining weight. With weight and height, u were your dadda-aai's son. Who would have imagined that greenish-black gooey mass of your first shit will remain with us as a lasting memory of happiness. (I wish I would have preserved that nappy).
      Lactogen was a completely different experience. Starting with a vati and spoon, trying the vati directly, sipping on the 'bondla', graduating to spoon-shaped feeding bottles and finally settling on philips avent nipple feeding bottles, we did it all. Feeding bottles came with their whole team - the brushes, the washing liquid, the hot-water steel bottle and the sterilizer. Different positions, different timings, different quantities, it was a time of experimentation.
     Lactogen soon gave way to Nan-pro. I wanted you to have Nan-pro, since it had DHA. Now, that you are reading this, tell me if the DHA actually improved your IQ.
     Jayashree mavshi was eager to feed you liquidy foods, but we wanted Dr.Mistry to say yes. During your 5th month vaccination, he gave his nod. But, finalising a date was difficult, since i was busy with classes and we needed a 'shubh' divas as well.
     23rd May, 2019. Panchami. I was supposed to leave for lectures at 10.30. Your mother and Jayshree mavshi prepared the special dish. A thick liquid made of ground rice. Your mother even cleaned the devhara. After a small prayer, it was time. By sheer stroke of luck, Kakoja and Aaba were present to witness the event. Aaba held you in his arms and your mother fed you 'food' for the first time. Next day it was Moong water.
     There will be a time you will eat solid food and i will write about it too. There will be times, when we will have dinner at a restaurant. You will love some foods and hate some others and i will give you a piece of my mind for that. There will be a time, when you won't have time to have dinner with us. And this old man will be standing in a medical store to buy his medicines and will smile when i see the box of lactogen in the display window. The store owner wont understand. Noone will. It all started with those little drops of lactogen.

The day the world turned positive

   23/5/2019

   Exactly one year ago. It was 23/5/2018. The most important day of our life. We, especially your mother, had given a lot of examinations, answered some tough questions and now waiting for the results.
   I was the one trying to put a brave face. Holding your mother's hand, trying to boost up her morale in case of some untoward happening.
   She was not in a mood to listen to reason. Her eyes were hooked to the reception table's staff. She was waiting for a positive nod. Anything else and her heart would have shattered to smithereens.
 " मंगेश , ती हो म्हणते आहे. ती positive आहे म्हणते आहे." Her voice was trembling. She was looking at the reception staff, who was smiling and nodding her head. I wanted to be sure. We waited.
              "We are happy to announce that the HCG report of Pooja-Mangesh is positive". 
 The intercom blared these words. The world stood still. We couldn't move. Eyes welled with tears. Realization took time. We had done it. We cried. We hugged each other.Years of efforts have culminated to this moment. We had you. The HCG was positive

    HCG was positive in 2011 too. An unplanned pregnancy. A child I was not sure i wanted. Maybe, it understood. It was not visible in sonography. Doctors ruled it out as biochemical pregnancy.
     Years later, we decided it is time for a child. But that one we lost was holding grudges,maybe. We were not able to conceive, even after trying. We tried changing doctors. Neelima Bapat, Ranna Doshi, Ashok Mulgaonkar, Rajkumar Shah..... We tried every medical treatment in the book. From normal medicines to doing artificial insemination. I had to do just some semen analysis tests. But your mother went through a lot. Taking medicines, taking injections, the innumerable sonographies, the HSG, the hysteroscopy......
      And finally we decided to do just one cycle of IVF before we give up hope altogether. Some research and some window shopping later, we finalised Indira IVF centre. There, we met Dr. Kanika.
The journey had started and it was not an easy one, especially for your mother. The number of tablets was large. She went to school and on her way back went to the hospital to take injections....almost daily. One on the stomach and one on the buttock. It used to hurt, but she was determined. I remember applying Thrombofob ointment on the painful swellings. There were injection poke-marks all over stomach. But she was not concerned. It was you she wanted.
     There were more tests, a volume  enlargement hysteroscopy, a pick-up(on gudi padwa), a transplant (on 9th may). She endured it all, her body in pain, her heart full of hope. She had given answers to all questions life had asked of her. And today was the result.
           "We are happy to announce that the HCG report of Pooja-Mangesh is positive". 
The words still reverberate in our ears. We can never forget that moment. We had you. We finally had you.