Don't cry PUSHPA, I hate tears.

               " Sometimes you laugh because you have no more room for crying." Call me a strong person, a cold-blooded person, emotionless person or a stone-hearted person. Nothing makes me sad enough to cry. Even death. Even death of a close one. I think i work on relations with my brain and tears come from the heart. Your aai can cry at the drop of a hat and i find that very needless. And she thinks i need to be a little bit soft at heart.
               I never met my granddads. But was present at both grandmother's funerals. And i did not feel a thing. Deshpande kaka, Kiran mama, Avadhoot mama, Tendulkar kaka, Sujata kaki. All close relatives and i was observing how people were behaving and crying. I hope you find a balance of emotions as you  grow up.
              Pushpha Mavshi was my mother's eldest sister. If i keep a tab on all my relatives, i can find one or the other flaw in even the good natured ones. Pushpa mavshi had none. She was the quintessential lady of the house. She was the 'go to' eldest sister whom every Kamat went for asking customs and rituals. She was also the backbone on which the Pandit family stood firm on. A dark lady, with buck teeth, homely looks, always in a disheveled saree, carrying a cotton zoli on her shoulders, wearing some cheap chappals. My earliest memory of her is of her 'drinking' an icecream in a wedding reception. The word 'saadhi' was made when the world saw her.
              Life was never good to her. She couldn't complete her education after her father's untimely death, became the head of the family at a very early age, had an adventurous love marriage with a man who gave her a dutiful daughter, but never gave her happiness. His illness meant that she was tied up to his service for almost all her life. All these hardships reflected on her face. She looked older than her age and i called her Pushpa aaji.
             I never saw her cracking a joke, never saw her go on a vacation. She was not overtly loving, but was definitely caring. And yes, she made a fantastic 'taandlachi bhakri' for breakfast. Unfortunately, you can never taste it. She did make it a point to attend your first birthday. That was the last time you met each other, although you will have no recollection of her ever. But, somewhere up there, she will be definitely blessing you. (I doubt if she will reach up there soon. Her soul will linger here till she knows her husband is taken good care of).
          If i am someone who shows no emotions, it was funny for me to see that everyone who was crying buckets of tears in the morning in front of her dead body, was absolutely normal in the afternoon, like nothing happened at all.
          The day before her death, on Saturday, we got the news of Mah-aaji's increased sugar and urine infection. Your aai was worried (read: crying). The next day when she heard about Pushpa aaji, she was further depressed (read: crying). The day after, she went to visit Mah-aaji who was staying at Priya mavshi's home. She was sad thereafter (read: crying).
          I have learnt my lesson from this incidence. I am not going to postpone Dah-aaji's plane trip for long. Death is not going to ask for a last wish. And the trouble is, we think, we have got time.
       Just between us, I did shed a little tear or two. I love my tough exterior persona, but it was softened by your mother 10 years ago and you have made a complete mush of it.

बालपण संपलं, तारुण्य गेलं.
आता आयुष्य कळू लागलंय.
कुटुंबाच्या वटवृक्षाचं
एकेक पान गळू लागलंय .
           लक्षात नाही शेवटचं मी
           तुला कधी होतं पाहिलं.
           खूप बोलायचं, सांगायचं होतं,
           पण तुला भेटायचंच  राहिलं.
काही दिवस खूप उदास वाटेल
मग हळूहळू पडेल तुझा विसर.
कधी गप्पामध्ये तुझा विषय निघेल,
मग आठवणीही होतील धूसर.
           एका दिवसात अशी कशी
           बदलून जातात नाती.
           काल ती होती 'आहे'
           आज ती आहे 'होती'
            

Baar baar din yeh aaye....

        I hope there was a pause button. Something to slow down time. It just flies by us. Experiences i want to forever linger in, become a sweet memory in the blink of an eye. A year passed by me and i just didn't realize.
        Every month we waited for the 1st. Celebrating your monthly birthday was a cherished event. Now, that you are turning a year old, a grand celebration was in the offing. And the planning and preparations had started months ago.
        After scouting a long list of venues and rejecting choices like DSF, ValaJanu and Sanjog, Status banquet at mahim was finalised. Familiarity, Quality and non-veg food. It ticked all our boxes. Aai and me personally went there to finalize things and pay advance. Once that was done a few things were left to be decided. Decorations, cake, guest list, menu, return gifts, datoli, clothes.......
        Guest list had to be kept close to 100. With so many Kamats and Vengsarkars, it is always skewed towards my people. The list was almost similar to your naming ceremony's list, minus Vagdevi neighbours. Aai's friends were the new entrants.
         I never hired any party decorator for any function as i rely on my own creativity and ingenuity (humility is my second name). For the caps, balloons, return gifts (camlin sets), we did not have to go beyond Anupam mega store. Datoli articles came mostly from Dmart. I had also hired a professional balloon decorator who did a splendid job on the day. (I had also made Priya mavshi to go all the way to Shivaji park to find a balloon decorator's number from a roadside tree, but did not hire that guy). The rest of the decoration included your photos. My first idea was to use your monthly birthday photos, but we were missing some and most of them had Aai in a nightgown. So, instead i decided to make a collage of your pics of every month and paste it on a calender. Getting all the pics from different sources, sorting them by month, selecting the best pics, creating a collage, getting it printed, pasting it on the calender pages. Thinking about it now while writing, i don't know how i managed it, but it went to the wire, almost till the previous night. Add to that, the 4 liner 'charoli' i thought about writing with reference to each collage. It almost went on till the morning of your big day. But, the success of it all made it very meaningful.
         When we decided about the party, there was no theme as such. But them both your mavshis came up with the idea of a party gown. Aatu heard about the idea. Spontaneous decisions are what we siblings are known for. She went and bought a new gown. I declared on whattsapp groups that gowns and blazers will be appreciated. Guess what, aai backed out of wearing a gown and i did not get a blazer of my size. But, kudos to most of our cousins, many of them had dressed up in party gowns.
You may think your Dadda is gloating too much in this post, but credit for your datoli clothes and your party dress including the shoes is completely mine. When we failed to get anything from Growels, i went to Infiniti malad alone and bought it without asking aai. And were you looking good? Hay, mein saddke jawan.
        Me and aai went up to Merwans in dadar for your cake (on the day of Vagdevi Satyanarayan Pooja). Instead of liking any, we returned back after buying chappals from Payal and eating sabudana wada from Prakash. Since we had Priya Mavshi's scooter at our helm, we decided to try some more stores. With Monginis, Celejor, Adarsh , The cake shop, in mind, we stopped our scooter at a newly opened cake shop 'cakes & more'. What we saw in the display window was love at first sight and that opinion was further etched in by the impressive owner of that shop. Cake shopping was done.
        But, all these preparations were for the birthday party which was on the 5th of January. But, you were born on the 1st. That will be a special day for us always. For the rest of the world, it will be celebration of the beginning of a new year. For us, it will be celebration of the beginning of a new life. 31st night party was at our place, with most of the regular attendees. Fried starters, bombil, raan biryani along with drinks and card games was making the night enjoyable. But, all of us were waiting for the clock to strike 12 and when it did, everyone was wishing you happy birthday instead of the typical happy new year.
       On the 1st, me and aai took you to cut cakes at pragati hospital and Indira IVF (Dr.Kanika made it really special for us). When we returned, others had decorated the house (with tapes still stuck to the wall). Aaba cut his cake first and then you cut yours. Food came from Uncle's corner. (There was so much leftover food, our fridge had a 'Vagdevi' look to it). The birthday was done, now to the party day.
      On the 5th, Rohini Mavshi came early along with her daughter. We travelled in our car and others followed us in a taxi. We reached the hall, started the decorations. Everyone was chipping in. I had worn a custom made t-shirt. The guests started coming in and the hall was filled with people. Everyone wanted to meet you, hug you, kiss you and you were a sport. The datoli went in fine. it disturbed you a bit, but you were generally calm about it.
     When you wore that pant, shirt and vest and walked through the hall, holding our hands with birthday music in the background, it was a moment to cherish forever. Though the plastic candle
caught flames, the rest of the cake cutting went on smooth. The green cake with a farm house theme, white fencing and yellow birds was a sight to behold.
      You were enjoying the attention and adulation, the pecks on your cheeks and the gifts in your hands. (On the same evening, we opened up all the gifts as we were more excited tha you to check them out. We also called Vishwanath carpenter to make new shelves for your new toys). You also joined the rest of the kids playing with balloons. (There was a kido-romance between Devang and Anvita). While the kids were enjoying their games, the adults were enjoying the fabulous food.
      I have seen many birthdays, where the child cries throughout the program, or messes their dress or throws a tantrum. You were completely the opposite. You seemed to like being the star of the show. And what a show it was. I think this is my longest post as of now and trust me, i have held myself back. I can go on and on.
      Every year, we will celebrate your birthdays. You will grow up every year. There will be so many changes in your body, your features, your behaviour. But, this birthday was celebrating that year when a cute wonder of nature smiled for the first time, cried for the first time, ate for the first time, crawled for the first time, walked for the first time. He used to respond to Oshigompush & Gompuli, slept like an angel while listening to his aai's songs, took vaccines with slight resentment, created a ruckus when angry and behaved like a gentleman when needed. This birthday was the celebration of a day when you gave birth to a caring aai and a responsible Dadda. Thank you Baccha. Happy birthday.

Chalo, tum ko lekar chale.....

        When you wake up early morning, get ready, leave your child with in-laws, travel through traffic, work 8-9 hours a day, endure troubling students and irritating parents, struggle with office politics, make your way back through unwelcoming autos and crowded trains and then single-handedly baby-sit a growing child for more than 4 hours till he goes to sleep and wake up many times a night to feed him, what is the only thing a super-woman mother needs? VACATION.
       That is exactly what i decided your aai should have. The idea was not mine. It was Aaba's idea. And everytime, he puts up an idea, my first instict is NO. So, when he suggested about going to lonavala for a weekend outing, i outright refused it. Then, Aatu tried to convince Aai with an additional plan of visiting Aditi aatya and her newly born daughter in Pune.
        Aai was quite excited about going. Nothing wrong about that either. Besides our honeymoon at Mahabaleshwar, a wedding trip to Delhi and a vacation at Kerala, we haven't done any other big travels. In the last 10 years, we haven't been to more than 10 weekend outings as well. So, i thought she deserved a break. But, we will do it my way.
       The initial plan was to go to Aai's mama's house in pune a day prior and then join the others at Aditi aatya's house the next day and spend the rest of the time together at Lonavala. But, Mama had some guests on the same day and so that plan fizzled out. My research was on overdrive and the place i found out for our first family outing was something me and aai will remember for a long time.
      We started on 23rd December. Being a Monday, traffic was less on the expressway. We made our traditional stop at the food mall on expressway where you had your first bite of the food-mall batatawada. You were super relaxed in your car seat. (Thank you Swapna Mavshi). With the help of GPS, we finally reached our destination. And with your mother saw, she started loving me a little bit more.
        Fazlani Nature's Retreat was a paradise. An area so vast that we needed golf carts to travel to our rooms, machans to watch the serene back-waters of a dam, green manicured lawns to laze around, bicycles to ride in to one's chldhood, a horse farm where you fed horses and even sat on one, a bird farm where you played with white pigeons, turkeys, geese, fowls, ducks, swans and even a peacock, a rose farm where we saw some amazing roses, a room with 5-star amenities, great lobby, vintage cars, artifacts, cordial staff, there was everything. The food was a slight letdown, but you enjoyed your milkshake sitting on your own chair.
       All good things come to an end and we had to check out the next day. We decided that we will not meet the others at a temple they were supposed to visit and instead go to Aditi's place directly. Our car was packed with huge bags your aai had brought for Aditi aatu's daughter. We were hungry and had a delicious misal at Zingat misal off the highway. We reached Aditi aatu's place much earlier than the others. Aditi aatya and Vinayak kaka had bought a nice tricycle for you as a gift. Nisha aaji, Pramila aaji, naik kaka, gauri aatya, arnav dada, sarvadnya aatya had also joined aaba, dah-aaji, aadya tai and aatu. We had a nice time there and then started for our destination at Lonavla.
      If Fazlani was a heaven, then the homestay near Ekvira mandir (far from lonavala) was a hell. It was a house in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by darkness, riddled with huge mosquitoes, lizards, scorpions (and maybe even snakes). The owner was a smoking machine and the rooms were absolutely pathetic. And when i made a spontaneous decision of not staying there for the night, your aai started loving me a lot more than before.
      It was dark but we had made up our mind to return to mumbai and stay at mahim. It was a 2.5 hour journey and how will you react to the travel was the only thing worrying me. We lost our way, had to change your clothes, got back on the right track, made a loo-stop, reached mumbai, lost our way again, got caught in traffic and finally reached mahim. And all you did was sleep. It was like you knew that aai and me were angry and you decided to stay calm.
      The next day, Vagdevi was celebrating its 50th anniversary and had organised a satyanarayan pooja. Aajoba saw to it that every Kelekar worked hard so that all members of the building have a nice evening. You walked some steps on the 'jajam' spread on the terrace, which gave me an idea to buy one which resulted in you walking without support in the next few days. We returned home late night on 25th December, tired and sleepy, with memories sweet and sour.
       Incidences on a day can be good or bad, but memories are just memories. And those 3 days gave us a lot of them. I have promised your aai that we are going to take you to a lot of different places. By the time you are reading this, i hope i have lived up to my promise. But no other vacation will have that cute little thing sleeping in that car seat and having no idea why his parents are so happy seeing a lake and some birds.